Historians Elated: Moses' original tablets excavated while breaking ground for new Cricket Wireless.

Today will go down in history as one of those "Where were you when..." days.

Last last night, a construction crew in Pizzacola, Florida, excavated what is believed to be Moses' original commandment tablets.  While breaking ground for the new Cricket Wireless store in the Swisser Tree Shopping plaza, jackhammer specialist, Blane Cranston hit gold (actually stone).  When his jackhammer suddenly halted, Cranston decided to dig up the obstruction by hand.

"I thought it was just a crummy piece of stubborn limestone." said Cranston. Originally thought to be a prank by foreman, Clive Oliveschmidt, the project immediately came to a screeching halt.  Local Bishop, Tarv Bishop, was called in to translate the cryptic text that adorns one of the two tablets.  "The only word I can make out is...chili." exclaimed Bishop. 

The tablets were immediately transferred to the Vatican, where they lay dormant and untouched until members of the Smithsonian have a chance to analyze the cryptic text and imagery featured on the historical tablet.  "This is a once in a lifetime find. A real piece of history. We have learned so much in so little time.  That Moses guy was a real chili fiend. Every nook and cranny of text is filled with chives and kidney beans.  There are so many chili finger prints on this thing, it's going to take months to clean up." explained Bishop.

This is a historical event unfolding right before our eyes.  If these chili commandments are in fact true, as they appear to be, it will re-write world history and religion, forever.

Cricket Wireless will be having their grand opening on March 4th.
Hours: M-Sun 9:00am - 7:30 pm.

Remember to bring in your old phone to upgrade to a new Cricket contract with no money down and free text messages for a month!  That's the Cricket way!