Photo Update: Milwaukee Chili Bowl - 2011

Chili Chat 2011: All the top hits! - Milwaukee Chili Bowl

BREAKING NEWS: Chili Chat receives official endorsement from the 1992 NBA Dream Team.

Chili Bowl 2011:  Initial Odyssey.

How does Chili Bowl 2011's team stack up against the World's greatest?

Stay tuned to find out...

"If you like chili as much as we do, you'll love chili chat [pause, look at camera, smile.]

It's a SLAM DUNK!"

- Dream Team (1992)

Live from Chili Bowl 2011.

 

Chili Chat unplugged:

Left to right -

Breadbowl Jones

Chip Crinkle

Lance Crackers

Chiloholic

Breadbowl Jones' weekly upadate

Breadbowl Jones here!
Hope you Chili fun-atics are making some gnarly winter chili recipes. If you get a chance to, try Chip's latest chili. I believe he's calling it LoveWhisket. He uses his old stand by powder, but switches things up with a lemony zest on the back swing. Fore!


Don't forget- Chili Rivers will be performing this Saturday night at the handlebar on Beatdown Street. Don't miss!!!(Last time we saw him at the handlebar he played 'whiskey chili revival' on the third encore. Unforgettable!)


Congratulations to Tarl Swindler for winning the Elk Union's annual arm wrestling competition in Troontis, Pennsylvania. Tarl has been a chili blogger for years.



Have a good chili weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!---



and
Back by popular demand, THE CHILI QUOTES!!!!!!!!!!!

"Wish I had time for just one more bowl of chili." - Alleged dying words of Kit Carson (1809-1868) Frontiersman and Mountain Man

"Whenever I meet someone who does not consider chili a favorite dish, then I've usually found someone who has never tasted good chili." - Jan Butel, author of "Chili Madness," published by Workman Publishing, 1980.

"Next to music there is nothing that lifts the spirits and strengthens the soul more than a good bowl of chili. Congress should pass a law making it mandatory for all restaurants serving chili to follow a Texas recipe." - Harry James (1916-1983) band leader and trumpeter

The Chili Underground

The Velvet Underground. Possibly my favorite band of all time. So I've invested some time into looking for bootlegs and rarities. I have never been so excited until I found this gem on 180g vinyl. The famous "Warhol Chili Sessions: VU vol.1".  I've got chills just thinking about it.  Here is a beautiful snippet from the original version of "Heroin".  Originally it was about Lou Reed's awful, awful chili addiction.  Apparently, Warhol thought chili addictions were too pase', so he got Lou hooked on Heroin.  Probably for the best. 

Chili, be the death of me
Chili, it's my wife and it's my life
Because a mainer to my vein
Leads to a center in my head
And then I'm better off and dead
Because when the chili begins to flow
I really don't care anymore
About all the varieties in this town
And all the fools makin' it without beans
And everybody puttin' spoons in their vein
And all the empty cans piled up in mounds


'Cause when the chili begins to flow
Then I really don't care anymore
Ah, when the chili is in my blood
And that chili blood is in my head
Then thank God that I'm as good as dead
Then thank your God that I'm not aware
And thank God that I just don't care
And I guess I just don't know
And I guess I just don't know

Chili

Poetry, pure poetry.

Chili Out During Cold and Flu Season

Be sure to bundle up this time of the year or you just might catch the dreaded chili virus that is going around. Have you experienced any of these symptoms?

1. Runny pinto beans nose



2. Cheddar cheese gooped eye lids when you wake up



3. Sour cream flem in your thoat



4. Discolored chives poop



5. Noodle vomit



6. A cayenne chili pepper level fever

If you are experiencing any or all of these symptoms there is only one thing you can do to fend off this sickness. Combat chili with chili. While it may sound counter intuitive think of it like an antibiotic. You must fight the bacterial strand with a like substance. In this case, more chili.

Have a friend or loved one go down to your local drug store to pick up some Tylenol Chili Syrup (I personally prefer the chipotle flavor. Yum! Yum!). And if you want to make it a little easier on your throat let the syrup soak up in a slice of sour dough bread and go ahead and eat on that soggy piece of goodness for the next half hour while your home from work and watching your favorite episode of Montel. This rich syrup will fight off those symptoms so quickly that you'll be back on your feet in no time.

Before Tylenol Chili Syrup

After Taking Tylenol Chili Syrup

Mislabled ingnorance.

How can Pick n' Save have such low standards?
They're selling cans of poop mislabeled as hot dog chili. 
I know we all make mistakes, but imagine sitting down ready to eat your favorite frankfurter, you take your shoes off, kick back, relax, life is good and then accidentally pour poop on your dog.
I don't know about you, but that worthy of ruining my day.
Hey Pick n' Save - Shape up or ship out!

Chil-Lax (patent pending)

I took this photo at Heaven on Seven in Chicago.  Didn't have the chili and I probably should have.  C'mon, at least offer chili shooters in the half shell. I'm not asking for the moon here.

I did, however take a second to appreciate the homage to one of my favorite Phil Hartman (miss you pal) skits "Colon Blow". This got my wheels spinning.  Has modern medicine failed in creating an anti-chili-poop potion?  Will I forever have to wield a match in the bathroom?

The potion I am currently developing "Chil-Lax" (patent pending) is a preventative potion that, when ingested sparingly, will absorb the chili poop blues right out of your soul.

Imagine, if you will, a world where one has no fear of eating their favorite bowl of Skyline Chili because they know they won't be riding the china bus in the rec-room bathroom for two and a half hours.  To quote John Lennon "You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one."

One spoon full of "Chil-Lax" (patent pending) before initial ingestion of your favorite chili or chili related product will plug you up for up to 12 hours.  That chili has nowhere to go, so naturally it will just absorb into your body.

"Chil-Lax" (patent pending) is natural-all-natural, organic, vegan, gluten free, raw, fair trade, HEPA certified, peanut free, moisturizing, exfoliating, anti-allergen and not to mention, delicious! 

"Chil-Lax" (patent pending) is the official pre-chili potion of the NFL.

I expect to be hearing back from the AMA any day now with their thumbs up and full endorsement of "Chil-Lax" (patent pending). So look for it at a drug store near you!

"Chil-Lax" (patent pending) does not work on:

• Chili-Mac
• Firehouse chili
• 4 and 5 alarm chili
• Hormel chili
• Chili juice
• Chili Go-Gurt singles

Immediately discontinue use of "Chil-Lax" (patent pending) if any of the following occur:

- Impaired muscle formation

- Erectile dysfunction

- Temperature regulation problems
- Nerve damage
- Mental confusion
- Liver damage and abnormalities
- Neuropathy
- Destruction of CoQ10, a vital nutrient for health
- Nausea
- Irritability and short tempers
- Hostility
- Homicidal impulses
- Rapid loss of mental clarity
- Amnesia
- Kidney failure
- Diarrhea
- Muscle aching and weakness
-Tingling or cramping in the legs
- Inability to walk
- Problems sleeping
- Constipation
- Racial slurring

FOR YOUR HEALTH!

The Chili Curse

1989.

If you aren't from Chicago, the thing you likely remember most about this year, would be the #1 selling sophomore album 'Don't be Cruel' which put future crack-head Bobby Brown's voice pumping through your Clairtone boom-box.

Or you might remember going to the movie theater and seeing the film that is regarded as John Travolta's finest work. I am of course referring to, "Look Who's Talking."

However, if you aren't from the area, I'm about to fill you in on a little Chicago secret, the 2nd Chicago sports curse. The Chicago Bears Chili Curse.

The four seasons previous to '89, the Chicago Bears dominated the league. The team won a world championship, four straight NFC Central division titles, made two NFC Championship game appearances, and won 52 games out of 63.

So what happened in the season that would follow, that caused the team to finish 6-10?

My theory, chili happened.

Since what seemed to be the beginning of time, the Pepto-Bismol Taste of Chicago Chili Championship (PBTCCC) was dominated by hometown heroes. Local Chicago restaurants would work for months on the recipes on what is the most coveted trophy in the Chicago Chili Enthusiast Scene (CCES). The competition was often so fierce that the chefs would end up fist fighting, which was not only acceptable, but often encouraged to help the judges award the winner in the case of a tie.

This of course changed after the ruling by the PBTCCC Committee, due to the death of the legendary chef Bill "Chili-Man" Childers in 1983. The autopsy reported cause of death as "Chili and Chili Related Injuries". To date, this is only confirmed case where chili killed someone, but most people believe that spontaneous human combustion is also caused by chili.

In 1989, a new-comer entered the PBTCCC. The Silo Pizzaria, owned by admitted San Francisco 49's fans, brought a chili that would shake the landscape of the competition, and go down in Chicago Folklore. This now famous chili won nearly every vote in the PBTCCC's People's Choice Catagory (which of course is done blind).

The 1989 San Francisco 49's, under the heed of QB Joe Montana (who's autographed photo was just inches away from the trophy case pictured below), went on to a 14-2 season, and a Superbowl win. Over the next 10 seasons, the 9'ers would go on to win over 75% of the regular season games going 109-35 and picking up another Super Bowl win in the process.

To this day it's unknown if that '89 PBTCCC People's Choice winner had some kind of curse on it, but to this blogger, the facts speak for themselves.

Chili Chat represents at the Milwaukee Chili Bowl.

According to a hot source, contributors of Chili Chat will be attending the 5th Annual Milwaukee Chili Bowl.

Be sure to get there early if you would like to have your chili autographed with Chili Chat's patent pending Sour Cream Sharpies.  Rumor has it, that Chip Crinkle, Lance Crackers and Breadbowl Jones will be sitting in the chili dunk tank from 3:30-4:30.
Come on down and take your best toss with a sourdough softball.

Sunday Jan 30th, 2011 (12pm-5pm) at the Harley-Davidson Museum (Free Parking).
$10 in advance ($13 at the door) -
Bring in 2 non-perishable food items (preferably chili) and receive two extra sample vessels.

Can't beat that with a loaf of french bread! 

Drowning my sorrows, in beef and beans.

Perhaps the only redeeming quality of yesterday's Bears loss to the Green Bay Peckers, was the free chili bar at 'The Monkey Bar' in Walker's Point.  Greasy? Yes.  Delicious? Indeed.  A cure for watching your team roll-over in the NFC championship game?  Nope.  But like my man Meatloaf says, "Two out of three ain't bad."

The Bears chili was much better than the Packer chili.  And I speak as a chili fan, putting my football bias aside.  I believe it was referred to as "Bear Poop".  As you can see from the photograph, it looked like Anthony Adams took a dump on my plate and garnished it with some sour cream, cheddar cheese, onions and jalapenos.

Maybe next season I can dump a Gatorade cooler filled with spicy hot chili on Jay Cutler's head.

Chip Crinkle of Chili Chat, chalks up a charming review of County Clare chili (and alliterations).

 

 

 

Charming chili, says Chip.  The cheddar cheese crust complimented the completely classic cup of chili I shared with Mr. Chiloholic.  Let's not even talk about that sour cream drizzle. It's what chili wet dreams are made of.  The sprinkle of chives that adorn the top adds a touch of class.  Served with a sizeable bag of oyster crackers, this chili is one to tell your grandmother or great aunt about.  Cool chili County Clare, cool chili. Cheers.

- Cpt. Chip Crinkle D.D.S.

Local piece of shit makes chili con carne.

 

Manbearchili.

A Text Message I got from Kevin "Conway West".

"Sean sent me this...FWD: We're going to Palomino next week. Jesse is getting bear meat in for chili."

That makes me want to try Manbearchili.
You know, it really tastes a lot like firehouse chili, just a little more manbear like. 

Chili: 52 Million ways.

There are 52 Million things to do with Chili.
Unfortunately, I know them all.
Hot damn, I'm bored!

Chili model of the week.

This week our featured chili model is Antroe Bass.

On Antroe:

  - Flannel (by Route 66)

  - Glasses (by Coke Bottle)

  - Hair and Makeup (by Sport Clips)

  - Chili (by Goody, Goody Diner – St. Louis, MO)

FUN FACTS:

Antroe enjoys his chili with or without beans. 

Oyster crackers are a must.

Favorite vessel to eat his chili out of? A catchers mitt.

Should have had the soup

This past weekend I ventured up to the great North Woods of Wisconsin (The Lakeview Bar in the town of Pelican Lake) to obtain its finest bowl of chili. Legend has it that this chili is the original recipe of Paul Bunyan himself.

On the surface everything appeared to be on track. I was even persuaded into paying the $0.50 surcharge to include the onions and cheese.



Unfortunately, I would not have fed this chili to Bunyan's Ox, Blue. The chili was bland and dissatisfying. Furthermore, the onions were overpowering and raw (I ask how these kind people could make such a novice mistake?). I think it tasted more like Bunyon's bunions rather than chili. My journey took me nearly 210 miles to offer me nothing but disappointment. Alas, it is a lesson that none of us should forget. Not all chili is created equally. So next time you decide to put some fresh chili on or inside you body make sure you know which chili supplements are entering your system. Ignorance is not an excuse!

I guess I should have had the meatball soup.

A poem...for Tim...on his birthday.

At the Great Chili Cook-Off of Tenderfoot Valley,
the whole town was gathered - each Tom, Dick and Sally
to see who would win and be given the crown
of Chili Bean Princess of Tenderfoot Town.

Then along came Tim, with his mustache so proud
"You cannot win this!" shouted the crowd
He removed his knickers, his boots and his vest
And poured hot chili onto his chest.

The mixture of beef, beans, veggies and things
mixed with the musk of 1,000 kings
Sent the crowd into a quite a riot
They crowned the man with the chili diet.

The tales are true of this hero named Tim
Who filled the Tenderfoot Valley up to the brim
With his spicy gift sent from above
Many did drown, but it was done out of love.

As he turned to leave the chili flooded valley
He heard the muffled voice of wee young Sally
She said “Don’t forget to take your crown,
you are now the Princess of Tenderfoot Town.”

Clarke's Vegi Chili (Evanston Local)

Bumper Stickers

Coming to a store near you.

The chili cremation

Hello friends,

Hearing the story of poor Mr. Lee below got me thinking. Why spend only our living hours under the calming lull of chili, when we can get chili'd out in the afterlife???!

Remember Uncle Frank, or Grandpa Jeff, or Aunt Susie forever by getting them the Chili cremation package! Our mortuary provides the standard cremation services with a twist. We use the ashes of our loved ones to make fine chili powder. You can keep on enjoying Uncle Frank- by the bowl full.

A GREAT Vegi Chili.

Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1/2 medium onion, chopped
• 2 bay leaves
• 1 teaspoon ground cumin
• 2 tablespoons dried oregano
• 1 tablespoon salt
• 2 stalks celery, chopped
• 2 green bell peppers, chopped
• 2 jalapeno peppers, chopped
• 3 cloves garlic, chopped
• 2 (4 ounce) cans chopped green chile peppers, drained
• 2 (12 ounce) packages vegetarian burger crumbles
• 3 (28 ounce) cans whole peeled tomatoes, crushed
• 1/4 cup chili powder
• 1 tablespoon ground black pepper
• 1 (15 ounce) can kidney beans, drained
• 1 (15 ounce) can garbanzo beans, drained
• 1 (15 ounce) can black beans
• 1 (15 ounce) can whole kernel corn

Directions

1. Heat the olive oil in a large pot over medium heat. Stir in the onion, and season with bay leaves, cumin, oregano, and salt. Cook and stir until onion is tender, then mix in the celery, green bell peppers, jalapeno peppers, garlic, and green chili peppers. When vegetables are heated through, mix in the vegetarian burger crumbles. Reduce heat to low, cover pot, and simmer 5 minutes.
2. Mix the tomatoes into the pot. Season chili with chili powder and pepper. Stir in the kidney beans, garbanzo beans, and black beans. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low, and simmer 45 minutes. Stir in the corn, and continue cooking 5 minutes before serving.
3. Allow Chili to cool and then smear all over your chest. Adore nipples with a dollop of low-fat sour cream.
   

Death by chili: An honorable end

A little over two years ago a man left this world in an epic fashion that few of us will ever be fortunate enough to achieve.

Death by chili sauce.

Andrew Lee is a hero to us all and will forever be remembered. Add some sour cream and sharp cheddar and this blogger does not believe there to be a better way to pass.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/food_and_drink/article4842531.ece

Daily inspiration

While sifting through the web today, looking for some inspirational quotes to put on a corporate birthday card, I came across maybe the most inspirational:

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
- Chili Davis



Sharing a mug with christ.

I believe this little doozie was cooked up by Jamie Rominski.  I think the base is tomato sauce and holy water.  It really brings up the age old question...W.K.O.C.D.J.E?

(What Kind Of Chili Did Jesus Eat)

Mazo's Chili

The Chili Shower

In my opinion, the best way start your day is with a shower. 
And here's how I do it:

- Nacho cheese shampoo
- Sour cream conditioner
- Saltine cracker exfoliating face wash
- Chili bodywash
- French bread lufa