The notoriously crummy Pirates have been a National League punching bag for as long as I can remember. So when I heard they had made some dramatic changes to improve their team this season, like most fans, I was pretty skeptical. It was announced in late February, a few days after pitchers and catchers reported to Spring Training, that the slow infield dirt at PNC Park, would be replaced with a new composite chili covering. This new composite material, made by chili innovators, Chili Co., will make for a much faster and slicker surface than old fashioned dirt. Ned Needler, the Pirates assistant infield coach's intern thinks this will bring much improvement to the team. "This new infield is built for our team. It's greasy, sloppy and an eyesore, it fits us like a glove. We're gonna be eatin' up those short hops all year." said an overly optimistic Needles.
Now, I'm not quite sure how a greasy beef and bean field, that is watered with a sour cream hose. will aid in the fielding or balls or the running of bases. But I guess after spending 20 odd years in the cellar will make a team do just about anything to shake things up. Some of the players seem to be adjusting well to the changes. Pitcher Ross Ohlendorf has added a wicked sink on his fastball, which he attributes to the new Saltine cracker rosin bag. Other players remain skeptical after shortstop Ronny Cedeno slipped on a kidney bean while trying to turn a flashy Latin double play and ruptured his ACL, ending his season before it started. This brings new life to the term "Hot Doggin", which Pirates fan(s) have now dubbed 'Chili Doggin".
Best of luck to the Pittsburgh Pirates as they prepare to take the National League by storm with with a barrage to weird trick plays and tomfoolery, as they step onto the field of beans for the 2011 season.
Cheers,
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