In a struggling effort to control the escalating situation at the Fukushima nuclear plant in Japan, authorities have informed Chili Chat that their latest effort has failed. Early Wednesday morning Chili Chat contacted U.S. nuclear specialist Professor Dean Poont, who was on his way to a seminar in Yamada for leading scientists and engineers to discuss possible solutions to this crisis. We petitioned what we believed to be the obvious solution, chunky Texas style chili.
Efforts throughout the month to clog the leak with a special polymer, sawdust and even shredded newspapers failed to halt the flow at a cracked concrete maintenance pit near the shoreline. The water in that leak contains radioactive iodine at rates 10,000 times the legal limit. We figured if this famous chunky Texas style chili can clog our arteries at an alarming rate, why couldn't it clog these cracks and potentially avert disaster? Professor Poont agreed and brought our schematics, recipe and samples to the attention of the intelligent minds at the seminar. To our surprise everyone in attendance loved the chili, the 4 crock pots we sent were emptied within 20 minutes of being announced at the buffet table. More importantly however, was the warm reception to the idea of filling the cracks with famous chunky Texas style chili. Within an hour of lunch being served, Chili Chat was hit with a massive order for 2,500 gallons of famous chunky Texas style chili.
After slaving away over burners and chopping blocks all week, we we're able to fill the order by Friday afternoon and overnight our famous chunky Texas style chili to the Fukushima plant by Saturday evening. The filling process began shortly after dinner time. Thousands of workers began filling the cracks by hand. Each was equipped with a 5 gallon bucket filled to the brim with famous chunky Texas style chili and a two foot loaf of french bread, which acted as an ideal spackling knife / delicious snack and gave the workers the energy they needed to forge ahead into the night.
By early Sunday evening roughly 95% of the crack had been patched with the delicious famous chunky Texas style chili. It would now take a few hours to test the radiation levels around the plant to see if the unlikely schlubs at Chili Chat would be responsible for deterring this horrible disaster.
It wasn't long before local wildlife and residents alike got a scent of the deliciously pungent famous chunky Texas style chili and flocked to the reactor in swarms, dismantling the hours of hard labor in just a few short minutes. It has yet to be seen if the radiation levels in the famous chunky Texas style chili were of a lethal level, but we have never seen so many satisfied patrons.
Although this project could be considered by some to be a huge disaster, We beg to differ. Feeding a struggling country that is dealing with a horrible natural disaster is a blessing in disguise (pending the results of the radiation levels in the famous chunky Texas style chili.). We won't be admitting defeat. We may not posses the scientific minds of an Albert Einstein or a Professor Dean Poont, but we know that there are stomachs to fill somewhere and we're glad our failed experiment could fill so many (again, this is pending the results of the radiation levels in the famous chunky Texas style chili.).
Cheers,
No comments:
Post a Comment