PLEASE WELCOME: Bean Lombardi McCarthy - 16 oz.(426 g)!

Keeping you updated on our previous story (here and here), the wife of Green Bay Packers head coach Mike McCarthy, gave birth today to a brand new baby can of chili.

McCarthy, who was involved in a horrific chili incident following the Packers Super Bowl victory last February, informed Chili Chat today that their new daughter was in fact a healthy can of chili. Doctors report that his wife, Jessica McCarthy, had no complications during the labor, which was the first ever reported birth of a chili baby. "After the incident, doctors told me something like this may happen, but we were willing to risk it." said the Coach. Deciding not to find out the sex of the baby before hand, Mike and his wife were busy preparing their newborn's unisex nursery when Jessica's chili broke.

Coach McCarthy rushed his wife to Kleepsake Memorial Hospital, where stunned doctors helped to successfully deliver the 16oz. can of beef and bean chili. "We knew the risk was low since the chili gene is only on my side, so I'd be lying if I said I wasn't surprised. Plus is was much cleaner than I expected." McCarthy reported. Doctors were not able to remove the can with forceps, instead they had to act quickly under pressure. That was when Doctor Shoosh Mercantile ran for the kitchen and grabbed two large spoons. "This is my first delivery, I can't believe I thought of that!" Mercantile told Chili Chat. "I actually brought chili for lunch and completely lost my appetite. I ended up finishing my leftover ham salad from Sunday." said a suddenly disappointed Mercantile.

The McCarthy family plan to raise Bean as if it were a normal human baby and not a freak 16 oz. can of chili. "We couldn't be happier to welcome our new lil Bean into this world. She has a chili dad and a non-chili mother, I know this world my not be accepting of it, but we love Bean unconditionally." McCarthy proudly told Chili Chat.


We couldn't be happier for the McCarthy family. We wish them the best of luck as new parents to a beautiful can of chili.

If you would like to send a gift, please email us so we can provide contact information. They are currently in need of napkin diapers, oyster cracker rattles and sour cream rash balm.


Cheers,

Coach Mike McCarthy released from hospital - mildy disfigured.

Updating you on our previous story, Green Bay Packers head coach, Mike McCarthy, was released from an Arlington hospital this afternoon. McCarthy was involved with a post-game incident last night when a Gatorade cooler filled with searing hot chili was dumped on his head in celebration of Green Bay's victory over the Pittsburgh Steelers.

In his first interview since the incident, Coach McCarthy had this to say:

"It is with great sadness that I announce to you today that I have turned into a half-chili man.

Yesterday's incident was an accident and I understand that.  But now I must live in shame as a half-man, half (pause, sniffle) chili man.  I look just like that Chili Davis guy.  I will continue my tenure as the head coach of the Green Bay Packers, but just understand, things won't be the same.  I will not be able to travel to warm humid climates as my chili face will overheat and cause irreversible damage on my brain.  In addition, there will be no butt slapping or high fives from me.  The overall greasy nature of my body chemistry will now cause my pours to sweat chili grease.  The funny thing about this is I've always been more of a chowder guy.  Go figure.  This is the path the good lord has carved for me and I will make the best of it.  When life gives you chili face, win another Super Bowl.  Thanks guys.  No more questions."

A clearly distraught, yet hopefully optimistic McCarthy, left the stage with what looked like tears pouring from his eyes.  He was seen leaving the press conference with a sour cream balm covering his face.  McCarthy will be present at the Packers Super Bowl celebration at Lambeau Field.  He has made a request that fans and media refrain from calling him chili face.

On a positive note.  Coach McCarthy has been presented endorsement offers from Hormel, Campbell's Chunky and Pick-n-Save.  The details of these offers have yet to be disclosed. 

Packers blame performance on hard work, practice, chili.

Coming off such an impressive playoff run, one can only sit back and think what is it the Packers were doing so right? Were those extra film sessions the defense sat through the key? What about the constant constant practice between Aaron Rodgers and his receivers? There are many possible things that could factor here, but all of them fell short to what the Packers referred to as their C-factor; Chili.

I caught up with the Packers chili trainer, Twil Spyder, this morning and was able to dig a bit deeper into the subject. According to Spyder, the entire offensive line slept in hyperbaric chili chambers every night in the playoffs. These large chambers were filled with dozens of gallons of hearty Texas chili. Every few hours head coach Mike McCarthy would come in and freshen up the chili by tossing in handfuls of chopped onions, cheddar cheese, hot sauce, etc.

"Mike even had a caulk gun filled up with sour cream that he wore on his waist in a sheath," said Spyder. "Yeah he had the guys walking and talking chili all month."

The players' sleeping quarters all came complete with 24 hour chili spa availability, including such perks as; the chili facial cleansing, the black bean back massage, the bread bowl hot tub, and many more. The Packers flew in noted chili cooks from across North America to give daily motivational speeches to the team.

To keep team moral high, team defensive coordinator, Dom Capers, hosted daily fun activities for the men to take part in. One of these activities was having all the coaches take turns sitting on the plank for the chili dunk tank. The players also took part in a chili eating contest with their hands tied behind their backs!

The Packers worked hard to get where they got this season, despite being plagued with injury and a down year in the chili industry. They overcame the odds, and were triumphant. The morning after the super bowl BJ Raji tweeted; Packers win the Superbowl, time for a chili sandwich.

The fans trust their coaches in Green Bay. Trust in chili.

Early reports indicate Coach McCarthy in stable condition after Super Bowl chili shower.

Early reports coming in from Arlington, Texas this evening are pointing to a timely recovery for Coach Mike McCarthy of the Green Bay Packers.  In a late game celebration during the closing seconds of the Packers 31-25 victory over the Pittsburgh Steelers Sunday night, McCarthy was doused with what players believed to be the celebratory Gatorade shower.  It was quickly revealed to be something much less refreshing. A source close to the Packers told Chili Chat that injured tackle Mark Tauscher had brought along a team helping of his mother's famous 5-alarm chili.  Unfortunately the press boxes had preference on all the crock pots in the stadium.  In a panicked effort, Tauscher filled one of the empty Gatorade coolers to keep his chili warm for the post game meal.  That cooler somehow made it onto the sideline.  All members of the organization were unavailable for questioning, with the exception of nose tackle BJ Raji who had this to say;

"It's a shame, that's some damn good chili."  

A visibly frazzled Tauscher was seen leaving Cowboy Stadium and spotted shortly after at the Wendy's drive-thru.  More reports on McCarthy's condition as this story develops.

(I should have taken the two team teaser and picked orange and chili for the Gatorade dump. But who saw that coming?)