So I says, "Well Hormel, I've tasted a lot of chili in my time and my week is pretty full but I will try my darnedest to make room for your particular blend."
Naturally, I wanted to try his chili but with so many chili's in my schedule I had to ask my secretary, Ola Utt to clear some time for me to check it out.
And...
I was astonished! The rich taste of pork that was legitimately sensationalized by the unique chili powder gave my entire system a shock that only the double rainbow guy could properly illustrate. I couldn't get enough and in a matter of minutes my entire stash was depleted.
After getting chili shakes similar to the ones that Lance Crackers described I order Mrs. Utt to contact Hormel immediately to procure some more of his universe class chili. Unfortunately, Hormel told me he did not have the time nor resources to continuously provide me with the chili quantities that I requested (I asked for a very modest 42.75 gallons for the first three months). In fairness to Mr. Brooks he does have his own blogligations to tend too.
None the less I was persistent, I told Hormel, "We've been friends for years, there must be something you can do? I can't sleep! I haven't had a chili coma in weeks and couldn't even enjoy Chip's Easter Brunch because I was throwing up all week at Chili Davis Memorial Hospital."
Thankfully, Hormel is a man of reason, he told me all that I really needed was the chili powder that he could mass produce. The chili was simply a vehicle for the powder itself. From that day forward I reentered the world as a functioning chili consumer. The best part is that I can inhale it on the go if needed!
Now I've been doing all the things that I used to: attending the Almond Races, designing spoons, watching Chili State's Rowing Team (I have a nephew on the team!), and most importantly consuming chili! It's good to be back and thank you to all for the letters of support. They helped me in my darkest time...
Yours in chili, Brik Chiliholic
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