An announcement years in the making...This morning during Chili Chat’s weekly national chatting chili news hour, baseball and chili legend, Chili Davis announced that he was to become the official spokesperson for Chili Chat. This news comes after countless attempts to reach Mr. Davis through his agent Clove Tuknish. Chili, who is currently residing in the “Where are they now” files, was one of the greatest ball players of the late 80s and early 90s and has always been the unofficial spokesman for chili fans and advocates everywhere. Until early this morning, nobody had heard from or seen Mr. Davis since his retirement ceremony where he showed up on LSD waving a souvenir bat and cast multiple spells on Peter Gammons. So needless to say, hearing from him was both uncomfortable and joyous.
We received the call on Monday from Tuknish, who insisted we keep this announcement tight-lipped. “Chili doesn’t want to make a big ordeal about this.” he told Chili Chat. “Chili is a very private guy. He really only leaves the house when he thinks the walls are getting too heavy or when he needs to refill his magic potions.” added Tuknish. Davis, who showed up to the news conference in a rickshaw, pulled by two 12 year olds wearing suits, kept insisting he forgot his sneakers and his sack lunch. It took us about an hour to convince him that his sneakers were on his feet and that, as promised, lunch was provided. “When’s game time, Skip?” Davis kept asking. We assumed he meant the press conference. Finally, a confident Chili Davis walked into a packed press room, full to the brim with reporters and chili fans alike. Here is what Mr. Davis had to say:
“Good morning friends. Oh, hi. My name is Chili Davis and I’d like to take this moment to announce that, I, Chili Davis officially like jello-chat.com. I have always liked jello and I think that it’s time people everywhere like jello too. It’s great for me to endorse this fine product because we both have the same name. Probably my favorite flavor or jello is purple jello. I remember one time, Kirby Puckett asked me if he could eat my jello in the clubhouse and I told him, I respect you Kirby, but I really want to eat my jello. One time I even cast a spell on Peter Gammons and turned him into jello. So with the ears of the nation all over me, it is with great pride and respect that I let everyone know that Chili Davis will be the new official spokesplayer for Bill Cosby chat.com. Zap, I’m outta here.”
About an hour later, after Mr. Davis came to, he quickly revised his statements saying “You can fill in where I messed up, but keep the message the same because I think it was a homerun. Also, make that check out to Jello Davis.”
Even though we didn’t get the same Chili Davis we all remember from his days in the big show and found out that he doesn’t even like chili, we couldn’t be happier about this partnership. We know that Chili Davis will represent Chili Chat well and we look forward to many years of greatness.
Chili Chat’s first television commercial, featuring Mr. Davis, will air June 22nd on ESPN Deucer.
Chili Davis hand drawn doodles will also be available on a first come, first serve basis.
Coming soon: Chili Davis / Chili Chat satin bullpen jackets, Chili Davis jello mold and Chili Davis toe socks.
Cheers,
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