After several hours of contractual negotiations, Chili-Chat Inc. came to an agreement with the executive officers of the F.B.I. to finally came to terms that could only be called a blockbuster deal. There have been rumors circulating the internet since early last spring of secret meetings between the two organizations and their looming conglomerate.
It is no secret that the Federal Bureau of Investigation are fans of chili after the 2006 investigation of the Black Bean Bomber. The Black Bean Bomber took nearly 100 lives in upstate New York using dynamite and canned chili. Newspapers across the nation were littered with write ups on the mysterious whereabouts of the bomber when Chili Chat's very own Cloaf Pidler helped lead to the bomber's hideout, claiming the answer came to him in a dream.
Chili Chat and
the F.B.I. decided to make senior F.B.I. corespondent Klite Nightengale the new head of Chili Relations. Chili Relations plans to expand and hire a dozen new workers over the next quarter, but to land a job in the C.R. department is no small task. The F.B.I. has already turned down applications from Guy Fieri, Bill Cosby and English actor Daniel Day Lewis. Nightengale had plenty of ideas that he was excited to share with Chili Chat's Research and Development team. "We're always looking for new non-lethal ways to take out bad guys," Boasted Nightengale. "We figure chili is a perfect medium for stunning a perp, without the blow being fatal. I had a meeting with Chip Crinkle and Wet Stetson in Pinatoba this weekend, and let me just say that the wheels are turning," Nightengale grinned.
Most F.B.I.-Chili Chat relations are very hush for the time being, but we are interested in what kind of promising endeavors the team will get into in the future. Rumor has it there is a chili dust powder grenade in the works. We can only hope so. God bless America!
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