Chili Chat (finally) teams up with the F.B.I.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to announce the highly anticipated and inevitable partnership between Chili-Chat and the F.B.I.

After several hours of contractual negotiations, Chili-Chat Inc. came to an agreement with the executive officers of the F.B.I. to finally came to terms that could only be called a blockbuster deal. There have been rumors circulating the internet since early last spring of secret meetings between the two organizations and their looming conglomerate.

It is no secret that the Federal Bureau of Investigation are fans of chili after the 2006 investigation of the Black Bean Bomber. The Black Bean Bomber took nearly 100 lives in upstate New York using dynamite and canned chili. Newspapers across the nation were littered with write ups on the mysterious whereabouts of the bomber when Chili Chat's very own Cloaf Pidler helped lead to the bomber's hideout, claiming the answer came to him in a dream.

Chili Chat and the F.B.I. decided to make senior F.B.I. corespondent Klite Nightengale the new head of Chili Relations. Chili Relations plans to expand and hire a dozen new workers over the next quarter, but to land a job in the C.R. department is no small task. The F.B.I. has already turned down applications from Guy Fieri, Bill Cosby and English actor Daniel Day Lewis. Nightengale had plenty of ideas that he was excited to share with Chili Chat's Research and Development team.

"We're always looking for new non-lethal ways to take out bad guys," Boasted Nightengale. "We figure chili is a perfect medium for stunning a perp, without the blow being fatal. I had a meeting with Chip Crinkle and Wet Stetson in Pinatoba this weekend, and let me just say that the wheels are turning," Nightengale grinned.

Most F.B.I.-Chili Chat relations are very hush for the time being, but we are interested in what kind of promising endeavors the team will get into in the future. Rumor has it there is a chili dust powder grenade in the works. We can only hope so. God bless America!

Chili Davis Officially Endorses Chili Chat!

An announcement years in the making...This morning during Chili Chat’s weekly national chatting chili news hour, baseball and chili legend, Chili Davis announced that he was to become the official spokesperson for Chili Chat.  This news comes after countless attempts to reach Mr. Davis through his agent Clove Tuknish.  Chili, who is currently residing in the “Where are they now” files, was one of the greatest ball players of the late 80s and early 90s and has always been the unofficial spokesman for chili fans and advocates everywhere.  Until early this morning, nobody had heard from or seen Mr. Davis since his retirement ceremony where he showed up on LSD waving a souvenir bat and cast multiple spells on Peter Gammons.  So needless to say, hearing from him was both uncomfortable and joyous.

We received the call on Monday from Tuknish, who insisted we keep this announcement tight-lipped. “Chili doesn’t want to make a big ordeal about this.” he told Chili Chat.  “Chili is a very private guy. He really only leaves the house when he thinks the walls are getting too heavy or when he needs to refill his magic potions.” added Tuknish.  Davis, who showed up to the news conference in a rickshaw, pulled by two 12 year olds wearing suits, kept insisting he forgot his sneakers and his sack lunch. It took us about an hour to convince him that his sneakers were on his feet and that, as promised, lunch was provided.  “When’s game time, Skip?” Davis kept asking.  We assumed he meant the press conference. Finally, a confident Chili Davis walked into a packed press room, full to the brim with reporters and chili fans alike.  Here is what Mr. Davis had to say:

“Good morning friends.  Oh, hi.  My name is Chili Davis and I’d like to take this moment to announce that, I, Chili Davis officially like jello-chat.com.  I have always liked jello and I think that it’s time people everywhere like jello too.  It’s great for me to endorse this fine product because we both have the same name. Probably my favorite flavor or jello is purple jello.  I remember one time, Kirby Puckett asked me if he could eat my jello in the clubhouse and I told him, I respect you Kirby, but I really want to eat my jello. One time I even cast a spell on Peter Gammons and turned him into jello. So with the ears of the nation all over me, it is with great pride and respect that I let everyone know that Chili Davis will be the new official spokesplayer for Bill Cosby chat.com. Zap, I’m outta here.”

About an hour later, after Mr. Davis came to, he quickly revised his statements saying “You can fill in where I messed up, but keep the message the same because I think it was a homerun.  Also, make that check out to Jello Davis.”

Even though we didn’t get the same Chili Davis we all remember from his days in the big show and found out that he doesn’t even like chili, we couldn’t be happier about this partnership. We know that Chili Davis will represent Chili Chat well and we look forward to many years of greatness.

Chili Chat’s first television commercial, featuring Mr. Davis, will air June 22^nd on ESPN Deucer.

Chili Davis hand drawn doodles will also be available on a first come, first serve basis.

Coming soon: Chili Davis / Chili Chat satin bullpen jackets, Chili Davis jello mold and Chili Davis toe socks.

Cheers,