Struggling Southwest Airlines to Make Some Delicious Changes.

In an official press release today, struggling Southwest Airlines has announced that in effort to cut costs it will be serving exclusively chili on all Continental and international flights. This news comes days after Southwest Airlines president, Dorf Stoan announced that the once prominent airline had posted a $45 million loss last year. "We're bleeding in a struggling industry. We need to step back and cut costs somewhere. I believe this process begins with our meal service." Stoan tells Chili Chat.
"I think this will be a welcomed change from our passengers. No more guessing games. No more 'Am I having the fish sandwich or the chicken kiev? I can't remember what I ordered.'. Every passenger that sets foot on our airline will know exactly what they will be eating for their in flight meal. And you know what, I think they'll like it." added a confident Stoan.


Each chili tray will be served as-is, with a dollop of sour cream, a hand full of shredded cheese and a few oyster crackers. Each flight will be given one crock pot upon take-off and when it's gone, it's gone. We have also learned that passengers requiring a Kosher meal have the option to have their meal blessed by Southwest's new in-flight rabbi. A much cheaper option than FAA required Air Marshall.


Chili Chat has also received unofficial word that Southwest Airlines will be replacing their oxygen masks with chili masks in case of an in-flight emergency. As well as doing away with bathrooms and drink cart service. Again, this is purely speculative. However, we do encourage all passengers who are flying Southwest, to relieve themselves and hydrate before the flight. From what we hear, that chili will burn a hole in your colon the size of a baby fist.


Cheers and happy flying,