Local College Student Banned from Public Park

Some things never change.

Chili Chat regrets to inform its readers that Mudd Reebok is in the news again. Mudd Reebok was having lunch with a few friends in Fuddle Park yesterday afternoon. According to local Parks & Rec representative, Gerald Cloaf, authorities were called after a woman claimed that her toddler son had burned himself on searing hot chili after going down a playground slide.

Cloaf arrived on the scene to find Reebok halfway up a tree attempting to "catch that stupid squirrell." After some 15 minutes Reebok came down from the tree and had an angry Gerald Cloaf to deal with.

"Whats this I hear about you dumping hot chili down the kiddie's slide?!" Questioned an angered Cloaf. After a half hearted attempt to dodge the question, Reebok took the blame for the spilled mess.

According to eye witness testimony Reebok and a few of his friends had visited Koogan's Restaurant and purchased several bowls of their famous 911 chili. The plan was to have a contest, who could finish their bowl first. After a few pain staking minutes of eating, Reebok excused himself to go use the restroom. He took his spicy bowl of Koogan's finest with him.

Reebok returned to his friends seated at the park picnic table and proclaimed that he had finished his bowl on the way to the bathroom, and in turn had won the contest. None of Reebok's friends claimed to have believed that he had finished the bowl.

"So you dumped the rest of your chili down the kiddie slide?" Questioned a bewildered Cloaf. Reebok agreed that he had. Three eye witnesses claimed to have seen Reebok do the deed.

There were no arrests made although Cloaf made Reebok stay and clean up the slide while everyone stood and watched.

"You don't have to just stand there and watch me!" Declared Reebok. Reebok was asked to never return to the park, and that if he was caught Police action would be taken.

Three days later Reebok Tweeted this picture of himself "planking" at Fuddle Park:

Local man expelled for unacceptable living quarters

19 year old Mudd Reebok was sitting in his dorm room, at Strancer Technical College, just like any other day. He was watching some Beavis and Butthead VHS tapes and heating up some leftover chili when he heard a knock at his fourth floor dorm room door. Reebok answered the door only to come face to face with the Krenzle Hall RA; Fred Finkle.

Upon entering the room, Finkle covered his mouth and nose with the sleeve of his jacket, and began coughing. What he saw wasn't pretty. What he saw was Mudd Reebok's living quarters. Finkle had received an anonymous phone call from a distressed young girl on the floor below complaining that it smelled like old chili in her room, and that it was coming from the vents. Finkle went around knocking, and eventually was lead to Reebok's room.

"There were pizza boxes. There were Chinese food boxes. There was chili dried to the floor. It was an unlivable place, quite frankly," expressed a clearly flustered Finkle. The dean of students, two other RA's, and the student life coordinator were called into Mudd's room to see the greasy display.

"I was getting ready to clean up" Reebok explained.

After an impromptu meeting between the hall coordinators and the dean of students, the school decided to take action. After being forced to clean his room, while several students watched from the hallway, Reebok was escorted off the premises. Reebok provided many incoherent excuses for his atrocious chamber, but none of them proved good enough for the school board. Reebok was informed later that day that he had been expelled from Strancer.

"We found one of those chili buckets tipped over in the corner of the room dripping into an air vent," said Finkle. "Explains why everybody's been smelling old chili."

A professional cleaning team was called in to scrub the dorm room clean of Mudd Reebok's time spent in Krenzle Hall.

Mexico: A Chili Memoir of the High Seas

Greetings, friends.

I am happy to announce that I have safely returned home after a 5 day chili cruise through Mexico. The entire Breadbowl Jones family was in attendance, and came back with more than just a few stories to tell.

It is a bit of a lesser known fact that Chili-Chat has a very strong following in Mexico. Chili-Chat research and development team pointed out a spike in traffic from our friends south of the border, so I decided to head there myself and see what was going on.

I boarded my ship, The Chili Basket, and checked into my room. There were complimentary chili biscuits on each pillow in the room. Off to a good start, I'm thinking.

That's when things went from good to great. I took a stroll around the ship, and check out all of the luxurious chili amenities provided by the staff.

The ship featured a chili lazy river that floated around the circumference of the ship, A 24 hour chili buffet on every deck, and an entire staff of chili massage therapists. I was in hog heaven.




I came equipped with Chili-Chat fliers, and had my siblings Troontis and Mudd help me pass them out, although it seemed most people already knew about Chili-Chat and who I was.

I felt like a celebrity. I had people shouting "Breadbowl, let me get a picture!" or "Breadbowl, whats next for Chili-Chat?!" I took some commemorative photos with a few fans who begged me to put them on the website.





It was very humbling to come face to face with so many gracious fans. I was so touched by their support, that I decided to take the ultimate plunge, and get a Chili-Chat.com tattoo.

The tattoo was turning heads left and right on the cruise, and by the last night I must have seen 4 or 5 people with the same ink done.

There has been a company email sent out that all chili-chat employees must get the same tattoo as Breadbowl.

We wined and dined like royalty, and got up each morning to do it again. A life I could get used to. The trip was not all fun and excitement though. Mudd Reebok had too many chili four lokos one night, and paid the price. He was also kicked out of the discotech for being to greasy.




If our trip to Mexico was a movie, it would land somewhere between Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and Chilly Dogs. We laughed, we cried, and we ate chili.












There have been reported talks of starting up a Chili-Chat branch in Mexico City and Cozumel. More on that story as it develops.